A
long time ago I came across a question on Yahoo. It was “if you were fighting a
losing battle, would you keep fighting?” The person who asked this question
also mentioned that he wasn’t talking about a fight in literal terms but about,
and I quote “fights like for your life, hea(l)th wise and all…” Most of the
people answering on that forum assumed that maybe the Asker or someone he knows
was suffering from a terminal disease so their answers were more compassionate
and encouraging than practical. They all thought hanging in there and fighting
till the end is the only way out rather than surrendering and waiting for the
inevitable. I also thought the same, mostly because in that particular case
whoever it was that was fighting that battle had no other choice. However, as I
grew older, went to new places and met new people, I found that sometimes
people keep on fighting a losing battle even though they can opt out of it.
They know they have no chance, they know it’s going to end badly for them, they
get opportunities to walk out of it while it is easier to do so, yet they chose
to carry on and get hurt and aggrieved in the end. While mostly I laughed at
them thinking they were weak morons who could not take stronger and harsher
decisions when they had to, but sometimes I did wonder what made them ignore
the inevitable or the obvious and carry on, specially because I knew that not
all of those people were weak or morons. Some of them were really strong willed
and smart. Well now I can say that I might have an idea as to why they did so (don’t ask me how, and
what you are thinking might be true :P).
I
guess the things that make people carry on towards a certain disaster most are
the short lived joys and short term gains. Perhaps these joys make a person
weak too. Flexible and easy work places make many people stick to their dead
end jobs. Rare moments of closeness and intimacy make many people stick to
their dead end relationships. These joys which are there up for grab right in
front of you make you overlook the problems that you will face a month, or a
year or a decade later. It becomes very easy to become a person who “lives in
the moment” rather than one who wastes his present worrying about the future.
In fact this exactly is the reason we give ourselves to carry on.
Second
thing that drives people in their fight for the losing cause is hope. Remember
what Red said to Andy, “Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man
insane.” Red was right, even though he was proved otherwise by Andy. Hope of
things getting better. Hope of some miracle happening that will put everything
into place. Hope that maybe if you would wish for it strong enough, fight for
it hard enough, the whole universe will conspire in helping you get it. And to
be fair to universe, it never does anything to inspire this hope in you. It’s
your own imagination that sees signs that were never there and attribute them
to the universe. “See, universe is giving me the signs, things will get better.
I should continue on my path.” No you moron, that was not the sign, the sign
was right behind it which screamed and shouted and begged you to see reality
while there was still time. Alas, you chose to ignore it completely.
Sometimes
though, there isn't really an option but to fight until you lose. You are ready
to give up the small joys you get, you are aware enough to see the signs; still
you have no way out. You think of ending it all the time, you think of making a
new beginning and you make plans which are perfect in an ideal world but too
bad you do not live in an ideal world. It’s like God telling you, “son you
cannot escape this”. Well, jab bhagwan ji bol de you can’t escape then no point
in trying to escape na. Waise bhi I have heard that God does not give you more
than you can handle. So maybe we are underestimating ourselves and
overestimating the future. Maybe it is not going to be as bad or painful as we
foresee. Maybe all our little joys that we get will be worth that unavoidable
distress at the end and the struggle to overcome it.
Ok, now I think I am
sounding like one of those weak morons. Maybe I am one because right now I am
fighting a losing battle and there is nothing better than having a few muskals on
your side in a fight. So I will go and lift some weights, you too forget this
emotional ranting and do something useful.
