Are we living in an era of Mediocrity?

Today I watched a short film called Bypass starring Nawazuddin Siddiqui and Irrfan Khan. You all know who Irrfan Khan is. However I am sure many of you must not be aware of Nawazuddin Siddiqui. Well all I can say is that he is one of the finest actors going around in Hindi cinema. To be completely honest even I did not notice Nawazuddin before Peepli Live. Yes he was in Shool (his debut movie). Yes he was in Munnabhai MBBS. Yes he was in DevD. But then how many of us notice and remember an actor who plays a five minute role of a waiter or a pickpocket in a movie. Its understandable that he started his career with these kinds of roles considering he does not look like a Greek god nor does he have a Bollywood dad (or mom or granddad). However seeing him living in a relative oblivion as opposed to other lesser talented stars, even after delivering one of the top two performances of the year (Faizal Khan in GoW2), does hurt. More than hurt, it worries me because it makes me ask myself, are we celebrating the mediocrity and venerating the mediocre? Otherwise, what else can explain Salman Khan being a superstar and Nawazuddin being an unknown character artist? Well stardom was never a measure of talent as in past and in other fields we have seen lesser talented people becoming bigger stars.  Even in sports we have a Maria Sharapova who has a much bigger fan following than a certain Serena Williams. However, unfortunately in cinema, especially in Indian cinema, even the performances are rewarded on account of stardom. While in sports, Sharapova’s stardom will never get her a Wimbledon or Ronaldo’s endorsements will never get him the Euro Cup, Salman’s stardom will definitely earn him a Filmfare nomination for Ek Tha Tiger while Irrfan and Nawazuddin will have to be contented with critical acclaims for Pan Singh Tomar and GoW2 respectively. Compare this with 80’s when Amitabh Bachchan in spite of being a superstar would fail to win a Filmfare while Naseeruddin Shah would win 3 in a row. I wonder if we would have ever cherished Naseer’s performances if he had not been discovered in 80’s.

Hindi cinema is not the only reason for me to feel dejected as it has been letting me down since early 90’s. Ganganam style topping music charts all over the world is the reason why I have lost all hope in the current era. So are Kolaveri Di, Justin Bieber, Big Boss, Roadies, Kim Kardashian, Chetan Bhagat etc etc etc. Maybe it’s the 90’s hangover. Maybe it’s all because of growing up to A R Rahman, Michael Jackson, Bryan Adams, Dekh Bhai Dekh, Byomkesh Bakshi, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and all. I wonder if people growing up in 70’s and 80’s felt the same about 90’s and asked the same question which I am asking now. Maybe it’s a process and we cannot escape from it. If it is so then I am glad sport is one field in which I can find solace. In sports I will not have to feel sorry for a talent and I will get to see hard work and skills getting justly rewarded and appreciated. Oh and that reminds me I have to get up to watch Ricky Ponting bat at WACA for the last time. But for that I have to sleep first. So good night and take care. BTW enjoy BypassJ

You have freedom of expression; but only at my convenience :)

Aseem Trivedi was a name unknown until last weekend. Suddenly he has become the face of India’s young, rebellious, enlightened and patriotic janta. And he did not even have to sit on an Anshan or slap a politician to do that. All he had to do was exercise his right of freedom to expression by drawing some stuff on a piece of paper. Here is one example of his many expressions

The irony here is, Assem uses the right given to him by the Constitution of India to insult the Constitution of India in probably the second most (first would have been Kasab taking a dump on it) distasteful and abominable manner. I was not surprised by Government coming into action and arresting him (which I do not approve of) because of the recent approach of Government towards internet censorship. However I was really surprised by the indifference of general public towards this kind of art. A month ago Dr B R Ambedkar was chosen by the same public as the greatest Indian ever after Mahatma Gandhi and a month later they are out in full support of an art which ridicules and disrespects the very reason for which Dr Ambedkar was chosen the greatest Indian. Oh I see, it is Aseem's freedom of expression and young, progressive India is all for freedom of expression. Is that really the case? I have my doubts. I wonder if people would have supported his freedom of expression if he had shown Babu Bajrangi urinating on Geeta or Laden urinating on Kuran.

I wonder if public would have supported his freedom of expression if in the following cartoon, instead of Mother India getting raped by corruption, he had shown Goddess Saraswati getting gang raped by owners of private schools, colleges and coaching centers

Or if public would have supported him if in the following cartoon, instead of Parliament, he had shown a temple which covers the corrupt and inhuman practices of its priests, as a toilet. 

For me Babu Bajrangi urinating on Geeta and the pimps of education raping Goddess Saraswati are as symbolic of our current reality as are Aseem Trivedi's expressions. But I am sure had he dared anything of that sort, his house would have been burnt down and he would have been lynched to death. The Indian public would have sympathized with him but would have never supported his freedom of expression. Well they did not support M F Hussain when he was targeted. They did not even support Karan Johar when he was targeted for calling Mumbai as Bombay in one of his movies. However here they are in full support of Aseem because the subject ridiculed is not their religion but their country.

This tells us three alarming things about Indian public. First they can take jokes on country, its constitution and its national symbols but cannot stand anything against their religion and gods which bursts the myth that Indians, majority of which being Hindus, place their country above their religion. Second, while everyone in India today is anti system and anti government, unfortunately very few are pro India and thus they are ok with anything that ridicules India if it ridicules the government. And third Indian public, like Indian Government allows freedom of expression only when it is acceptable and convenient to them. I am glad I am not a part of this crowd. I am equally appalled by Aseem's cartoons and Hussain's paintings, but I also equally support their freedom of expression. Maybe I am neither too patriotic nor too religious or maybe I am too much of both.

And yeah, Happy Birthday to me :P

Why India needed this?

London Olympics came to an end and it's end pretty much coincided with the release of Ek Tha Tiger which means the efforts of our athletes in London are soon going to be overshadowed by the machismo of Salman Khan. That was inevitable, was it not? However a few hours are left in the release of the movie so I can expect people to remember London and thus relate to this piece of mine. In terms of medal count, it has been our most successful Olympics. Personally all I wanted from this Olympics was an improved performance. I was afraid that a disappointing performance would put Indians back into the “kuch nahi ho sakta” mold. They would feel that Beijing was just an aberration in an otherwise constantly disappointing performance and Indian sports is back to rock bottom. However our athletes lived up to the expectations that were established after Beijing Olympics, Guangzhou Asian Games and Delhi Commonwealth. Not only did our 6 athletes won a medal each, a few others came close to winning and in spite of missing the medal, they delighted us with their performances. While earlier I was disappointed by those close misses, but now when I look at the bigger picture, I am glad our athletes experienced it because now they know that there is no substitute for an Olympic medal. Securing a close 4th, missing by one shot or losing by 1 point means nothing. They must have also realized that in a nation famous for its jugaads, there is no jugaad for an Olympic medal. There is no shortcut. And I am sure most of our athletes will emerge stronger and better from these near misses. Talking of the medals we won, each and every one of those six medals gives me equal amount of pleasure and satisfaction. However two medals in particular make me immensely proud and I believe India as a country needed these two medals more than any other. Had India not won these two medals, I would have probably not bothered to write this piece. By now you would have guessed which two medals I am talking about. Yes I am talking about the ones won by our ladies, Saina and Mary Kom.

The obvious reason why I said that India needed these two medals more than any other is of course the winners being ladies. The more optimistic half of mine feels that most of the Indians do not need an Olympic performance to believe that an Indian woman is no lesser than an Indian man but the more pessimistic half of mine feels that no amount of medals will ever change the typical chauvinistic mentality of Indian men. Well this piece is all about good things so I will curb my pessimism for now and hope this performance will bring a positive change in the social fabric of India and we will see more and more girls competing for India at the world level. However the fact that these medals were won by ladies is not the only reason why I consider them more important. Where they come from also make them special. While one comes from Haryana which has the worst boy to girl ratio in India and has most cases of female feticide, the other comes from Manipur which along with its 6 sister states is pretty much a forgotten state of our country. The fact that Saina's birth was a bad news to her grandmother makes her success story even more inspiring and compelling. I am sure her grandmother is a proud granny now but will it take every female child in Haryana to do something big at international level just to get the love, care, respect and everything else which should be her birth right? I hope not every girl has to do the same. I hope Saina has done that on behalf of all of them. If she has, then her medal is much more than just an achievement in sports. Now let’s talk about Mary Kom’s state. Oh is it Manipur or Assam or Sikkim? I am sure many of you are not sure about that. Well Amitabh Bachchan was not when he tweeted about Mary Kom’s achievement. He said he was proud of her but sadly did not know where she came from. How could he, he probably would have never cared to bother about her or her five world titles. To be fair to him, how many of us did. But then again we do not host a game show based on general knowledge, do we? We did memorize the seven sister sates’ names and their capitals in school but that’s where we stopped learning about them. Unfortunately entire northeast just became a theoretical entity for rest of the India. Mary Kom (and Devendro Singh Laishram) has brought them back to our attention. Last time it needed a Baichung Bhutia from Sikkim to do that. Once he retired, the seven states were put back to oblivion. Let us not do that again. I am sure we will get more world beaters from there. It’s time we start learning more about northeast than the names of the seven sister states, their capitals and dig out more than just momos from there.

Not in many countries do women have to win Olympics medals to prove their life's worth. Not in many countries do people have to win Olympics medals to direct their countrymen's attention towards their states or regions. Unfortunately India is not one of those countries. Here a girl had to win an Olympics medal to get that same amount of love from her grandmother which her brother would have got just for being a boy. Here a lady had to win an Olympics medal, taking several blows on her face en route, to get her state some recognition and acceptance. Well they did it. I just hope and pray that what they did does not get wasted.

An eye opening unforgettable Sunday!!

So after 15 classes and one hell of a show I have come to terms with the fact that I am better off dancing in a crowd, a drunken disco or an even more drunken marriage crowd. I am not meant to be on the stage in front of live audiences. Not for dancing. Maybe for talking; that I can do anywhere (at least I’d like to believe that until the bubble bursts), but definitely not dancing.

Now you guys must be wondering how bad I must have performed to conclude that. Hmm not too bad. But it was disappointing because I was unable to meet the standards that I had set for myself. And they were not too high. I mean I really did not go up there to dazzle the crowd with my savvy dance moves. The only thing I expected from myself was to remember every step, do it as told and come back. Apparently that turned out to be a big ask. I have hardly ever goofed up during our sessions. I was well in sync with the music and steps till a minute before we entered the stage. It was once the lights and music were on, I kind of went blank. Not kind of, I actually went blank. I was drowned in the cheering of the crowd. They were told to cheer loudest for us. Aneesha Dalal asked them to. Oh yeah she was there. She asked them so because while every other batch had like 8 to 10 dancers, ours had only 4 and we were the first to go. Well she did that with the best of intentions and so did the crowd. Neither of them knew one of those four will get so overwhelmed by the cheers that he would not be able to hear the music. That is one drawback of doing things on stage in front of a quiet audience. You never get prepared for the noisy one. Anyways, so I goofed up. Forgot a few steps, and whatever I did remember to do did not look pretty either. Had it been my first blunder on stage, I would have let it go but few of my friends from Satyam know, it was not. ;) So I have just accepted it is not my forte. Like Harvey Dent said in The Dark Knight, you either give up wisely or you just keep on trying making a fool out of yourself. Well he did not exactly say so but what he said does not make sense here. What I just said, does.

Looking at the brighter side, the show was amazing. There were people of all ages dressed up in colorful costumes. It started with a sort of a jam session where everybody just went on the stage and danced. It was called the warm up session but honestly it was just an excuse to let everyone dance freely on the stage. Then there were the performances. Other than the instructors no one there was a professional and they have been getting the same training that I was. However their performances suggested otherwise. Of course no performance was perfect but there were glimpses of awesomeness in all of them. At times I could not help myself but standing and applauding, especially for the group of deaf and blind kids and the special potential batch. SPB, I am told, is a batch created from amateurs like us. They are just a lot more talented. Most of the students from SPB were just teens and their performance had everyone on their feet. I have seen such performances only on screen but watching it live from 5 yards was a totally different experience. I don’t know why but everything looks easier on screen and thus you don’t appreciate the efforts and skills of a performer as much as you should. It’s only when you are closer to the action you realize what it takes to do what you just saw. A lot of credit if not all, should also go to the instructors. During the last couple of months I had been in complete awe of my instructor for her fitness, energy and enthusiasm (she is pretty too but I would rather not talk about that :P). Today I saw so many like her. Seemed like a different breed all together. Those guys participated in all performances in bits and pieces. The way they made entry into and exit from a running performance to balance it was a top shelf choreography. In spite of the fact that they also had the responsibility of managing the show, they never stopped cheering and dancing. It was a Sunday and they were there doing their job. But not one of them had any complaints. They loved doing it. I envy them for that. Most of the guys from my industry would share my feeling. Maybe they do not earn as much as we do (a big maybe) but I know I would give up my job without thinking twice to do a job like that, a job that I would be looking forward to doing even on a Sunday morning. And with this thought I will now hit the sack because I do have a job, not one which I love but definitely one which makes it possible for me to spend money on things I love. That’s quite satisfactory if not delightful. And yeah, I won’t stop learning to dance, I’d just stay away from the stage :P

P.S: The only blemish on today’s experience was the movie StepUp 4 which all of us went to watch after the show. It is an awfully terrible movie. Please do not watch it, thus encouraging its makers to make another one in this dreadful series.

5 things IPL can do without

So the first IPL came to an end last week. I mean first IPL after I started writing my blog which makes this IPL even bigger than the actual first IPL which was won by the great West Indian side lead by Clive Lloyd in 1975. Or was it won by the Invincibles of 1948 led by Sir Donald Bradman? Ha, who cares! All that matters is who won the first IPL after I started writing my blog. However I am not writing about the winning team or its performance or why it won or how it won and blah blah blah. I am not doing so for two reasons. First, a lot has already been written about all that and second, I have no clue how KKR won and that is so because all through the IPL I was hardly watching cricket. I mean it’s not my fault. It is just that there were too many distractions for me to concentrate on the cricket. Thus I decided to make a list of all such distractions (or not) which need to be carefully, almost with a surgical precision, removed from the IPL to make sure that a self-proclaimed cricket expert like me can actually concentrate on the cricket and later give some gyan to his nonexistent followers in his imaginary virtual duniya. I know nobody is going to do any sort of surgery on IPL but then preparing a list is always fun so here it goes.

1)    Cheer leaders In Sarees:

                   

    Seriously what the fuck was that? Cheerleaders in sarees. I mean there should be a limit to customization. Indians should know where to stop. Customizing Subs and McBurgers and Hollywood blockbusters to cater to the taste of Indians was alright. But customizing cheerleaders was just too much. No Mr. Roy we don’t like girls signaling fours and sixes in sarees. We don’t even fancy girls signaling fours in skirts but then we never care for what their hands are doing when they are in skirts. This is a western concept, let it be western. Don’t try to indianize it. And if you do then make sure that the girls you choose are not so pissed off about not being able to flaunt their flesh that it is written all over their overly done faces.

2)    Couches in the field:

                          

    What is it, a fucking mujra? If you cannot fit into a VIP lounge seat then stay at home and watch your team, inherited by you from your mother gifted to her by your father so that you and she can stay off his back for at least 2 months in a year, from the comfort of your personal home theater which is probably bigger than the stadium itself. We just cannot tolerate couches in the field. It’s a sports field. It’s a place for athleticism and agility and speed and skills and a couch is a symbol for everything that kills all those qualities. So please leave your couches at your 27 storied mansion while coming to an IPL match.

3)    Strategic Timeouts:

                    

   I always wonder what strategies are made during those 2 and half minutes that cannot be made before the match. Well I am not exactly sure about the strategies but I do imagine the conversations during those 150 seconds. I mean in a match where Gayle is in full form, this how a strategy time conversation must be like for the fielding team, “Hey dude you just got hit for 5 fucking sixes in an over. How does that feel?” “Whatever man at least I was not hit for a 110 m six like you were hit for one in the last match.” And in a match where Steyn is throwing his missiles at the batsmen, the batting team conversation must be like “Damn it I am not facing him anymore. Bugger is bowling bouncers after bouncers. I have an add shoot tomorrow for a fairness cream. Can’t afford to have a broken nose. I’ll sneak in a leg bye and you face him.” “Fuck you. I have never faced a delivery faster than 120 kph. I am unable to spot his deliveries from the non-striker’s end. You think I’ll be able to see his deliveries when batting. I have a hot date tonight. Can’t afford to get hit in the balls. Fuck yeah let’s just get out and sit in the dugout. Much safer there.” Point is that it’s a waste. We understand it’s yet another gimmick to get as many advertisements as possible in a game but please shoot it. Right in the head.

4)    Celebrity Interviews:

 

    First things first, ANU MALIK IS NOT A CELEBRITY. Not in this universe, not in any of the thousand universes of Sheldon Cooper’s multiverse. Even if he is one for Archana Vijaya and Sameer Kochar then also we don’t want to know why he wears a shit colored t-shirt in every match. We don’t want to listen to his doggerel on Rohit Sharma during innings break; we want to watch the glimpses of Rohit’s innings instead. When David Warner is in full flow, we are not interested in why Chitrangada Singh is supporting Deccan in spite of being a Delhi girl. When KP is in full flow we don’t care how Nargis Fakhri fell in love with Delhi. We just don’t. If we were interested in all that we would have tuned into Zoom TV but we have not so please do not shove them down our throats.

5)    Set Max:

     A deejay and dancing girls in the studio. Was not Sidhu’s sidhuism enough to torture the viewers that you got him dancing as well? Set Max’s sports quotient bankruptcy was not just evident inside the studios. On field, even before the ball crosses the boundary rope, the camera zooms onto Preity Zinta or Shahrukh Khan to capture their celebrations or despair. In a 5 hour telecast of a 3 hour match, 4 hours are spent on stuff that has nothing to do with cricket. In the finals, Set Max got all its commentators dressed up as if, in words of my friend’s friend, all of them were supposed to give a performance on “bole chudiya, bole kangana” after the match.

                   

    Post-match celebration of Set Max almost made its viewers believe that SRK was the man of the match and not Bisla. Bisla, if you guys have forgotten was the MoM in the IPL finals. What? You did not see him celebrating after the match. No one did. Set max was too busy covering SRK’s exposed nipple.

                      

   Well we could not have expected much from a movie channel and unfortunately we will have to bear it for 5 more years. But I still hope that BCCI uses its muscle and somehow snatches away the contract from Set Max and gives it to some sports channel. I believe I am getting too optimistic. For all we know, BCCI might give it to FTV if it bids highest for the telecast rights.

Pretentiously, Selfishly Selfless Aamir Khan

On May 6th 2012, Aamir Khan made his debut on Indian television. It was not a surprise to his fans as in recent years television has turned out to be a lot more productive than movies for our Bollywood stars. Not just in money making but also in increasing fan base. Given the brilliant marketing and public relations acumen of Aamir, it was inevitable that he would sooner or later enter into the small screen world. The only question was how? Will it be a game show?  Will it be a reality show? Will he appear as a judge in some talent show? Well if you call yourself an Aamir fan and you were thinking on these lines then you better brush up your Aamir Khan knowledge because if nothing then at least this much was pretty sure that it would not be anything that a Bollywood star has already done on the small screen. So as everyone expected, he made his debut in a way which was unprecedented. He decided to host a show on social awareness, bringing the cruel and largely prevalent miseries of India and its citizens. His show Satyamev Jayate, through its official theme song and video successfully captured the imagination of Indian audience even before it aired on the screen. Indians, 90% of whom secretly or openly enjoy a sick reality show or an overdramatic talent hunt show but always complain about television being an idiot box or a nuisance, were all praise for Aamir and his show without even watching a single episode of the latter. Thankfully the show lived up to everyone’s expectations and as an Aamir Khan fan I am proud of him for taking such an initiative. However, not everyone has been particularly amused by Aamir Khan and his efforts. While no one has any complaints against the show (so far), Aamir Khan has had his share of criticism. In fact I believe he must have faced more criticism for Satyamev Jayate (for various weird and stupid reasons) than he probably faced for his 2 potential WMDs, Mann and Mela.

The first criticism that started doing the rounds among the more intellectually gifted Indians than you and me was his package (being an IT guy I am obsessed with this word so kindly tolerate my professional idiosyncrasies). From various unreliable sources (read them as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube), I got to know that Aamir Khan is charging anywhere between 3 to 6 crores per episode for hosting Satyamev Jayate. Now as per the intellectually advanced minds in India, since he is doing a show on social awareness he should not be charging this much or if possible not at all. So are these people saying that it would have been ok for him to charge this much for a stupid game show or for a vulgar reality show but is not ok for him to charge this much for a show which he claims is meant to create a better difference in the lives of Indians? I have never heard anything more absurd than this. It means they have no problems with stars milking money from an irrelevant deed but they expect them to do something good for free. Or do these people think that taking money makes Aamir a hypocrite? Well I don’t recall him saying anywhere that what he is doing is a voluntary, selfless, charitable work on his part. He has said time and again that he realizes that he has the capacity to reach out to and influence millions of Indians and he is using it to create a difference. But he never said he has lent his capacity to Rupert Murdoch for free, which in turn is a silly thought as to why Rupert Murdoch will care about bringing a change in India and thus ask Aamir to volunteer. The point is, it’s not hidden that everyone involved with Satyamev Jayate is looking to earn money, but there is nothing wrong in it and it should not degrade the nature or the intent of the show and its makers. No one should forget that both Aamir Khan and Star Network, like other stars and networks could have gone the easier and more reliable route of earning money but they did not. Appreciate this fact and give them the due credit.

The second criticism that started doing the rounds after the show aired is (hold your breath people) that Aamir Khan is overacting in the show. Hain? Bhai logo aap Sunday ko subah 11 baje Star Plus per aane wala Satyamev Jayate hi dekh rahe hai na  because I don’t remember him jerking his head and saying “no no no no” to some tragic story by some guest. Neither do I remember him tightening up all his facial muscles and saying with utmost vigor to the viewers that “10 minute. Sirf 10 minute hai aapke paas ye decide kerne k liye ki ye law bane ya nahi”. Well maybe I am the only one who thinks these pieces of performances are overacting. In fact I am sure I am the only. I even think Aamir overacted a bit in 3 Idiots but that is jus me so I won’t get into what is overacting and what not. However I would ask these critics, what exactly are they watching in this show? While rest of us are more concerned about the issue and  sincerely listening to the horror stories of our fellow Indians in the show, they are busy focusing on the presenter, his wardrobe, his gestures and his reactions, nitpicking them for signs of superfluity and histrionics. It would have been understood if these people had accused a judge of some talent hunt show of overacting, when he/she cried on hearing the story of some young participant girl, the tragedy of whose life has been that her well to do family had to give up chicken and be contented with daal for a month so that they could save money for her dance classes. But a bucket full of tears shed by the judges on hearing this sacrifice story seem very genuine to these critics because none of those judges is Aamir Khan. Well I have nothing to say to these people other than that next time when they watch the show, they should try to concentrate on the topic du jour instead of focusing and over analyzing Aamir Khan.

For all those who do not know, Aamir dropped all his endorsements (do you guys see him in any new Samsung, Tata Sky or Titan advertisements?) and has not signed a new movie after Talaash. The sole purpose of Aamir Khan Productions has been Satyamev Jayate for quite a while now. He has already done what no amount of our text messages or donations can match. So stop expecting him to be a saint and start appreciating his intent. If you cannot do that then Roadies season is still on air and you can always enjoy Big Boss on YouTube but before that give it another try. Right Now. J