Indians after Rape

Yet another gang rape. I am sure this is not the first one after the Delhi nightmare but it got people outraged once again. Not sure why though. Maybe because it happened in Mumbai, a city which took pride in being one of the safest cities for its women or maybe because this time the victim is a young journalist. Whatever be the reason, I am happy this time it is not the nauseating, stomach churning brutality of the tragedy that got people outraged after the Delhi gang rape. I always enjoy observing people’s reactions to a certain event. While in the aftermath of Delhi tragedy, I was more interested in observing the reactions of our leaders, both elected and self appointed (people who were forced to read my blog post because I spammed their Facebook newsfeed, would know what I am talking about), this time around I decided to observe how the aam janta reacts. Aam Indian janta comes in so many different shapes, sizes and mindsets that analyzing their perspectives makes you lose track of your own. However that risk is always worth taking and so I did. It was hard though. Categorizing reactions of people without getting judged was not easy. If I do a gender based analysis, I would be called a sexist. If I do a region based analysis, I would be called a regionalist. And if I do a religion based analysis? No. Hell No. So I chose the safest option, I analyzed how people from different age groups react to the incidents of rapes.

15 – 25 years old : This age group seems to be most outraged and frustrated of all. Outraged because, well they are young and almost everything makes them angry. Frustrated because they think they have a solution (apparently they have a solution to everything from corruption to crime to China), and it’s pretty simple and easy to execute but for some reason our political set up is not implementing it. So how do they take out their frustration? By having a black dot or any other symbol of protest as their Facebook/Twitter display picture, by sharing pictures of rapists getting punished in Saudi Arabia or Lebanon, by writing blogs (just as I am doing) about the sick patriarchy, incapable judiciary, inefficient police, impotent government and everything else they hold responsible for the tragedy. Basically by ranting on internet. However, this age group is honest in its reaction. As unreasonable as its outrage and frustration might be, it is not opportunistic or pretentious. As trivial and lackadaisical its effort might be, it’s honest and genuine.

25-65 years old : This is the age group which in reality has the power to change things. Our billionaires, our idolized sport stars, our corporate leaders, our beloved celebrities, our holy Godmen, our high profile activists and our political leaders, in short the people who actually run this country all fall under this age group. Unfortunately this is the age group in which a man gets selfish and gets occupied with acquiring means to give himself and his family a secured and better life and future. So everything a man does in this age group stinks of opportunism and selfishness. Therefore every reaction coming from this age group is well measured and accurately targeted towards a goal which is not what it should be, that is safety of women. Politicians indulge in blame game. Regional parties blame the influx of migrants, opposition blames the ruling party and ruling party just condemns the occurrence of the event and promises a quick and stern action. The celebrities fearing backlash, make sure their reactions are subtle, full of emotion and concern but lack sternness in their critique of political setup. Corporate is mostly indifferent as they have their own problems to tackle. Activists, backed by corporate which in turn is backed by political parties, do carry out dharnas and pradarshans but they are mostly politically motivated than anything else. And all this facilitated by media for which such tragedies are blessings in disguise as they get lots of material for carrying out debates, discussions and special stories. So we get to see, hear and read a lot about the reactions from this age group via media, but those reactions are neither honest nor genuine.

65 and above : This age group gives its reactions in one line. “Itni raat ko wo ghar se baahar nikli hi kyu”, “Wo us sunsan jagah gayi hi kyu”, “Aise kapde pehenengi toh ye hi hoga”, etc etc etc.         

“Jitna maara khaya, utna achcha kaama seekha”

“Sir ye toh old style hai”.

“Main bhi old hi hu yar”

I thought this would be enough to shut him up and make him do his work. I was so wrong. He suggested something else that I should let him do with my hair. This is one thing that annoys me a lot, barbers telling me what to with my hair when I have specifically told them the same already. He looked a nice chap so rather than being an ass and sternly asking him to do what he has been told, I decided to change the topic. I asked, “Kahi se training li hai kya baal kaatne ki?” Yeah I know, this was an ass of a question but thankfully the guy did not get the sarcasm behind it. I say thankfully because had he got it, I would have not heard a very interesting life story or got an insight into a very delightful and positive mindset.

So he started working as a sweeper in one of the barber shops at Charminar (I did not ask him about his family. I did not care. Actually at that point I did not care about anything he had to say. I was just happy he was not talking about my hair any more). All he had to do was getting rid of the hair lying on the floor. However even that was a challenge for him. He just did not know when to pick up the broom and when not. Well he was just 10. It was either “Abe dekh ni ra main baala kaat ra. Kaiku jhadu le k ghuse ja ra” or “abe kya howle k maafik baitha hai. Jhadu kya tera baap lagayenga”. 

“Toh jhadu laga laga kar hi baal kaatna seekh liya” I had not stopped being a moron yet. To be fair to me, it was Saturday afternoon, I had not slept the whole Friday night and spent my Saturday morning doing some hard labor, so was not in much of a jovial mood. Anyways, back to the story and how his life changed. Now this is a twist Abbas-Mustan would be proud of. One day a man, quite an influential guy in Charminar area (for not the brightest of reasons) and a regular customer, walked into his shop when all others had gone for lunch. He had come for a shave. He asked our hero to do it for him, who naturally hesitated. “Laafa khayega ki dadhi banayega”, the man politely asked, which left our hero with no other option but to do as told. He had just begun to apply cream on the man’s face that the owner came back from lunch. He offered to do it but the man wanted the boy to carry on. And as expected, our hero gave a nasty cut to the man right from his chin to his Adam’s apple (this is what he told me and considering the fact that he had a scissor in his one hand and my ear in his other, I thought it was wise not to contest this little detail in his story :D). The man did not shout or shriek, all he said was “abe chutiye aise chalate hai be kya ustara” (seemed to be a tough guy worthy of his reputation). However the owner reacted frantically and slapped our hero using every bit of energy he had just consumed during his lunch. “Sir wo laafa aaj bhi ni bhula main” sums up the slap. The owner then rushed to the man and did whatever he needed to do, which is not important. What is important is that once the man got his cut attended, he picked up the crying lad, asked him to sit beside him and ordered for tea and biscuits. “ab kaiku pottiyo ki maafik ro ra hai. Aaj se meri dadhi tu banayega.” And this is how our lad became a barber. 

Sahi hai, uske baad toh tu hero ban gaya hoga” I taunted him.  

"Kya hero sir, roz laafe padte the”.  Apparently it was just the beginning.

“Kaun maarta tha, maalik?”

“Wo bhi aur customera bhi. Waha yaha k maafik customera complain ni karta tha. Seedha laafe maarta tha” he told me how for every mistake of his, the shop owner would hit him with scissors on his knuckles.

“Abe toh bhaag jata. Kahi aur kaam kar leta” my expert suggestion, typical of an IT guy, when going gets tough, the tough takes a sick leave ;).

“Arre nahi sir, jitna maara khaya, utna achcha kaama seekha”.

This really hit me. Don’t know why. And I could make out it was not some philosophical crap he was throwing at me to sound intellectual (like all of us keep doing from time to time), he really meant it. I could make out that he was really happy to have worked there and to have experienced whatever he did. 

“Yaha ka kya scene hai?” I asked him. He told me this place was different. Here the customer would just complain and get his money back. 

“Toh matlab yaha aake kuch ni seekha, kyuki yaha toh kisi ne maara ni” after a moment of introspection, I was back to being a jerk.

“Sir yaha bhi seekha. Kuch customera bahut mach mach karta hai. Kaise bhi kaat lo, unko problem hi lagta hai. Unke baal kaatne me seekha”. He told me he would specifically go for difficult customers and take it as a challenge to satisfy them. This was another thing that hit me. In a cut throat world, where everyone is looking for short cuts and easy way outs, this guy was grinding it out the hard way. Honing his skills in whatever way he can. Not afraid to get punished or criticized in the process. I won’t say I learned a lot from him. I don’t think anything I heard that day is going to change me. I have my ways of doing things and I am beyond changing them. Also I am not sure how far that guy will go in his life or will he stay like this forever. I am just glad I had this conversation with him and thought it was worth sharing with you guys.

P.S: This all happened this last Saturday at Natural salon in Madhapur.

I love you Mom, but only on Facebook.

“Love You Mother... What I am today and Whatever I achieved.. The Success, The Pride, The Royal...everything is because of your sweet heart wishes and Love. Love u soo much

Happy Mothers day”

Sweet. Is it not? Wondering who said this to his/her mom? That’s the sad part. No one did. I do not think the mother even got this message. A certain son posted this on Facebook, in a group of which his mother was not even a member. I doubt if his mother is even on Facebook. Well this is not the only tribute to mothers that I came across on social media today. My Facebook news feed was full of essays dedicated to moms. Some essays had videos and pictures too. Thankfully Twitter does not allow more than 140 characters in a tweet, so there was a lot less motherly love flowing across my timeline. I read a few. I passed most. However all through the day I kept thinking, how many of these people, who are oozing emotions and love for their mothers through their Facebook updates and tweets, would have actually said the same to their moms in person. I could not stop myself from imagining a scene in which an urban teen girl, popular on social media, asks her not too internet savvy mother to not interfere in her personal space when her mom tries to find out why she spends so much time on her laptop. Not to mention the girl, right at that moment, is tweeting about her love for her mother on the Mother's Day.

Am I not an unemotional, cynical jerk to be thinking that way? I might be but like I said, I cannot help it and I do have my reason for thinking this way. The reason is, why on Internet? Why on Facebook when you can wish her in person. It’s not Friend’s Day on which you have to express your love for your friends on Facebook because you have too many friends to do so personally. For heaven’s sake you have just one mom. If you love her and wish to express your love then go and tell her. If you do not live with her then call her and tell her. If you are too busy to do either of these but have enough time to brag about your love for your mother to the world and that too through a medium beyond her grasp, then you are just a wannabe using your mother to seek attention in the virtual world.

I am not against Mother’s Day. In fact I am not against any of the days that greeting card companies have come up with to sell their products. I might not believe in them but I have no problems with those who do. However I find people shoving their personal emotions down the throat of others on internet, superfluous and at times nauseating. Love and adulation for the people close to you must not be showered upon them on Facebook or Twitter. Especially when the one who’s supposedly the recipient of all that love is just a call away or serving you breakfast. You might want the world to know how much you love your mother, but let her know first.

My top 5 movie scenes of the Year 2012

It’s 5:30 AM in the morning and I am too sleepy to give you a background on the topic. Also the heading is self explanatory so I will straight away jump to the list. List of my 5 most favorite movie scenes from year 2012.

5)   Silver Linings Playbook- Halloween Dinner: The more you see this scene, the more you appreciate Jennifer Lawerence’s performance in this movie. You just need to watch one of her interviews to find out how different she is from the character Tiffany and yet she never seemed to be enacting the character of Tiffany. It seemed she was Tiffany. That too without being a method actor. In her own words, before the director says action and after the director says cut, all she thinks about is food.

4)   Argo – Airport Scene:  Apparently in reality Tony Mendez and his “Canadian Crew” passed through the airport security without much fuss but if Ben Affleck and screen writer Chris Terrio had shown the same in the movie, it would have been a very disappointing anti climax to what till that point was a very edgy, tensed and thrilling story line. So they did their work as film makers and the result is a scene that, without resulting to histrionics, leaves you leaning forward desperately on your seat, even on a rewatch. 

3)   Barfi – Marriage Proposal:  Why I like this scene? Simply because it gives a person like me, who is pretty much emotionally bankrupt, a lump in his throat. Also during this scene, for the first time in the movie, audience understands Barfi’s disability. Until this scene his life seems very bright and colorful with no trying challenges in spite of him being dumb and deaf. 

2)   Lincoln – Thaddeus Stevens’ speech:  INSPIRATIONAL in capitals is how I would describe this scene. However to feel the same way about it the way I do, you will have to watch the entire movie (which in itself is nothing short of inspirational) and understand the context in which Stevens gives his speech. On doing so, I bet you too will pause the movie and clap just like I did the first time I watched it. Of course you cannot do that if you watch it in a theater but you get my point. 

1)   The Dark Knight Rises – The Climax:  I had a tough time choosing between this and the Lincoln scene. However the fact that every time I see Bruce Wayne, sitting with Selena in that café on the banks of Arno and raising his glass to Alfred; I get goose bumps, made me pick this one as my most favorite scene of the year.

Lost in Rape and its kinds

On December 16th, 5 days before the world was supposed to come to an end, a gruesome incident took place inside a moving bus on the roads of New Delhi. The incident while tragic, served as an eye opener for people like me. No it did not open my eyes to the appalling condition of law and order (or lack of it) in our national capital. I was pretty much aware of it but was living in a denial. I mean it is the city where I was born and brought up so it was not easy for me to accept its ugly reality. However the incident did open my eyes to the nonexistent brains of our elected representatives, our moral and cultural “thekedaars” and our self proclaimed “babas”. And what did I discover when I wandered through the labyrinth of their brains; different kinds of rapes. As you know I find preparing a list very amusing so I prepared a list of different kinds of rapes, as per our political, cultural and spiritual leaders. Here it goes:

1)      Chowmein Rape: This rape was first discovered by Jitender Chhatar, a leader of Chhatar village’s khap Panchayat in Jind, Haryana. As per the observation of this self studied esteemed biologist, the spices in chowmein disrupt the hormonal balance in our body and thus cause the men to rape women. Considering this important discovery, I would suggest GOI to ban chowmein in India. Or at least issue notice to all restaurants and street vendors to put a statuary warning on their menus besides chowmein stating “Consumption of chowmein causes rapes”, just like we have on cigarettes packs.

2)      Rarest of Rare Rape: This rape was introduced by our honorable home minister Mr. Sushil Kumar Shinde. He has not yet given details about what constitutes a rarest of rare rape but has assured janta that rape laws will be amended to give the accused a death penalty in the rarest of rare rape cases. Last heard a panel of doctors and lawyers was working with the home ministry to lay down guidelines defining the rarest of rare rape.

3)      Freedom at Midnight Rape: Inspired by the speech given by our first prime minister, the president of Andhra Pradesh Congress Committee, Botsa Satyanarayan came up with freedom at midnight rape. He asks us, “Just because India got freedom at midnight, is it necessary for women to move on the streets at midnight?” I agree Mr Botsa. We can either give freedom to our men to rape at midnight or freedom to our women to move on streets at midnight. Since we have already given the former, there is no scope for the latter. The women of this country should not misuse the independence of this country or the timing of the independence of this country.

4)      Lakshman Rekha Crossed Rape: Watching Congress giving valuable contributions in the field of rapiology, BJP was bound to move into action. Being a pro Hindutva party they drew inspiration from Hindu mythology and one of their Madhya Pradesh ministers Kailash Vijayvargiya came up with Laksman Rekha crossed rape. Citing the kidnapping of Sita, he emphasized on the importance of Lakshman Rekha that has been drawn for the women in our country. As expected, he was unable to define the Lakshman Rekha but was quick to warn women on facing consequences, as severe as getting raped by the Ravana, on crossing it. He however had no suggestions or warnings to give to the Ravana sitting on the other side of the Lakshman Rekha.

5)      India not Bharat Rape: Moving on the same lines as BJP’s, its parent body RSS, after doing some home based research, gave us the India not Bharat rape. RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat, showing a middle finger to all the stats and surveys conducted over the years on the apathy of women in rural India, proudly declared that all the rapes occur in India (urban areas) and not in Bharat (rural areas). By saying so RSS also completely detached itself from anything wrong happening to the women in India as it is purely a Bhartiya party. Unless of course India decides to surrender to Bharat and accepts to be a part of Bharat. Until then, Indians, you are on your own and RSS won’t turn up for your help. RSS chief’s views were further supported by SP MLA Abu Azmi, thus showcasing and strengthening the secular fabric of Bharat which ironically RSS does not find too impressive and amusing. And yeah in case you are wondering, Owaisi’s speech clearly happened in India and not in Bharat.

6)      Understandable Rape: Encouraged by daddy RSS, BJP’s some more scholarly brains decided to come up front and showcase their knowledge in the rape theory. One such thoughtful BJP MP Ramesh Bias gave us the understandable rape. He finds raping of infants and minors utterly abhorrent and repugnant but raping of “grown-ups” imaginable and understandable. Now we know what MP sahib imagines in his free time which is basically his time sitting in parliament. I wonder what we will get when we will type R in the Google search bar on his smart phone which he carries to the parliament. I also wonder what he’d be saying to his daughter (I hope he does not have any) when she completes 18 years.

7)      Single hand can’t clap rape: To come up with a new kind that beats all the above kinds, one has to be intellectually and spiritually enhanced and upgraded. So not surprisingly, Sant Shri Asaram bapu Ji, the self proclaimed godman and the spiritual leader of millions of Indians, came up with Single Hand Can’t Clap rape. A rape kind which is a universal set of all the other rape kinds. As per Bapu Ji, irrespective of the eating habits of the accused, location of the rape, the age of victim or the schedule of her recreational activities, all rapes occur because the women help rapists in raping them by not calling them bhaiya and by not asking for mercy. His solution to the rape problem in India (not Bharat as it does not have any such problem) was just one word (like his solutions to all the other problems in world). Bhaiyya. Compliment it with the jaap of Gayantri mantra in the morning and voila, you become immune to rape for eternity.

Until recently I only thought of rape as an awful, detestable, loathsome, atrocious, contemptible, cursed, beastly, despicable, heinous, hellish, disgusting, hateful, rotten, vile, horrible, horrid, repulsive, revolting, offensive, repellent, reprehensible, and wretched (I run out of words to describe it) act whose perpetrator must not be allowed to live. But thanks to a few great minds, I have realized that rape is a lot more than what I thought and there are many facets to it. Well I am still unable to comprehend all the rape gyaan that has been flowing around and am still lost in the different kinds of rapes. Meanwhile a woman gets gang raped in Punjab. I am not sure what kind it was. Maybe you guys can figure out.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Punjab-woman-abducted-from-bus-gang-raped-by-7-cops-reveal-victims-ID/articleshow/18000897.cms?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=tweets

Are we living in an era of Mediocrity?

Today I watched a short film called Bypass starring Nawazuddin Siddiqui and Irrfan Khan. You all know who Irrfan Khan is. However I am sure many of you must not be aware of Nawazuddin Siddiqui. Well all I can say is that he is one of the finest actors going around in Hindi cinema. To be completely honest even I did not notice Nawazuddin before Peepli Live. Yes he was in Shool (his debut movie). Yes he was in Munnabhai MBBS. Yes he was in DevD. But then how many of us notice and remember an actor who plays a five minute role of a waiter or a pickpocket in a movie. Its understandable that he started his career with these kinds of roles considering he does not look like a Greek god nor does he have a Bollywood dad (or mom or granddad). However seeing him living in a relative oblivion as opposed to other lesser talented stars, even after delivering one of the top two performances of the year (Faizal Khan in GoW2), does hurt. More than hurt, it worries me because it makes me ask myself, are we celebrating the mediocrity and venerating the mediocre? Otherwise, what else can explain Salman Khan being a superstar and Nawazuddin being an unknown character artist? Well stardom was never a measure of talent as in past and in other fields we have seen lesser talented people becoming bigger stars.  Even in sports we have a Maria Sharapova who has a much bigger fan following than a certain Serena Williams. However, unfortunately in cinema, especially in Indian cinema, even the performances are rewarded on account of stardom. While in sports, Sharapova’s stardom will never get her a Wimbledon or Ronaldo’s endorsements will never get him the Euro Cup, Salman’s stardom will definitely earn him a Filmfare nomination for Ek Tha Tiger while Irrfan and Nawazuddin will have to be contented with critical acclaims for Pan Singh Tomar and GoW2 respectively. Compare this with 80’s when Amitabh Bachchan in spite of being a superstar would fail to win a Filmfare while Naseeruddin Shah would win 3 in a row. I wonder if we would have ever cherished Naseer’s performances if he had not been discovered in 80’s.

Hindi cinema is not the only reason for me to feel dejected as it has been letting me down since early 90’s. Ganganam style topping music charts all over the world is the reason why I have lost all hope in the current era. So are Kolaveri Di, Justin Bieber, Big Boss, Roadies, Kim Kardashian, Chetan Bhagat etc etc etc. Maybe it’s the 90’s hangover. Maybe it’s all because of growing up to A R Rahman, Michael Jackson, Bryan Adams, Dekh Bhai Dekh, Byomkesh Bakshi, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and all. I wonder if people growing up in 70’s and 80’s felt the same about 90’s and asked the same question which I am asking now. Maybe it’s a process and we cannot escape from it. If it is so then I am glad sport is one field in which I can find solace. In sports I will not have to feel sorry for a talent and I will get to see hard work and skills getting justly rewarded and appreciated. Oh and that reminds me I have to get up to watch Ricky Ponting bat at WACA for the last time. But for that I have to sleep first. So good night and take care. BTW enjoy BypassJ